All · Learnings · motivation

The lingering aura…

“Celebrate endings – for they precede new beginnings.” – By Jonathan Lockwood Huie

By now, I should have realized that life isn’t always a story that we plan in our minds. It always sails as per the plan from above.

It could be clearly seen that  Christmas was paving it’s way into every home, with the beautiful decorations and lights shimmering from almost all windows in the neighborhood. We decided to play secret Santa. It is a game, in which we write names of all involved members and pick up at random. We become the secret Santa of that person and have the freedom to gift whenever and how ever we wish. It was pretty fun, but it was no surprise that all the sub groups knew about each others Santa-person.

Each one started receiving gifts and the joy of Christmas made way into our little non so Christmasy lives. I received my gift on the day before of Christmas. I was over joyed on receiving the 1000 pieces puzzle along with my very favorite Sheldon Cooper character in a mint in box!  I didn’t dare open it…it was beautiful! What was more surprising was the gift that I found in my post box. It was dropped in by none other than my German buddy and as I unwrapped it, I felt a velvety and absolutely amazing peach colored neck scarf, hand stitched by her mother along with a chocolate. It truly made my day.

But somewhere deep down, I had a feeling something wasn’t going right. The party that we had two nights previously, left me with the feeling that somehow people aren’t behaving the same with me. I obviously didn’t know the reason as yet, but the feeling that I was being disregarded intentionally was sinking in really fast.

Moods didn’t lift on the day of Christmas either. All day I spent trying to begin with the puzzle and join few pieces together, but it turned out to be as difficult as the thoughts in my mind.

By evening, we ended up playing uno cards for more than 3 hours straight and special for that day was chicken curry! Looking forward to have a sumptuous dinner, we all headed to kitchen by 11pm and there was just bread to go with it. It blew my lids and I went and asked the person who cooked, why wasn’t I just called to prepare the rotis (Indian bread) or rice. I was ready to help anytime. But as they say, right words at wrong time can resound much worse. And so it happened (Although now it doesn’t even seem like a reason to have argued, but time does the trick!). Christmas eve was just drowned with the argument and I remember having roti with pickle for dinner that night.

That night I was out at window sill at staircase (yet again), recalling how I had imagined would first Christmas in Germany be, and how it turned out. The lights from neighborhood seemed to be blurring as the night grew deep. I returned back to room and crashed, hoping all this would just be a dream.

Next few days was intense at the apartment. Everyone seemed to either chose not to talk or be extremely careful while instrumenting sentences. I also noticed that others (who didn’t live with us), seemed to have stopped replying to any of my messages. So as I always do, while solving a problem, I invited everyone for tea on 30th evening. I didn’t want new year to be bad for anyone. Thought I could just talk it out and see what’s stuck in the web.

But, again, it doesn’t work as per plan. Each one was busy with something or other and gave all possible reasons and no one turned up. 31st morning brought in the news that everyone, except 2 of my roommates, had already left for Berlin for new year. This included the roommate I had argued with. I was not only surprised but severely disappointed by their behavior to not even apprise the 3 of us who were left here.

All day I sat in my room, thinking what could I have possibly done to vex everyone at one go? My other two roommates didn’t go to Berlin, because they didn’t want to (but I know they had my back). We got wine and made some good food and watched clock tick 12 while watching 3 idiots movie and next 45 minutes gazing at the sky which were now filled with stunning fireworks!

This began the new year which I was desperately waiting for… Waiting to turn to a new page and get out of the aura that presently surrounded me…

Happy new year 2014.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s