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Fickleness of the mind…

“You were given this life because you were strong enough to live it…”

There are days when you are on top of the world. Maybe because you spoke to your parents that day and it was all so wonderful! Or you spoke to a friend after ages and it felt so good to just re live the moments. Or you met someone and someone appreciated you. It gave you a sense of worthiness. And then, day is all beautiful and rainbows even if it’s storming outside, it is gloomy as it could be and yet, you are smiling like a sunshine.

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There are also days when it’s bright outside, birds are chirping, people are happy because it’s a beautiful day and yet you feel blue. As blue as it could be inside your mind and heart. Why? Well, maybe because you were told something by your parents. Or because your friend and you have a misunderstanding and the silence just kills you. Or simply because you feel that no one gets you. Ever.

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It is one such latter-day today. It’s my birthday month and from what I know past 24 years, this is one month that the hardest of times become absolutely easy for me. Easy to face, easy to solve and simply easy to live. Why?
Because I love birthdays! Not just mine but everyone’s! There is some sense of happiness that is hard to explain how I feel. I feel that each of our existence should be celebrated and each one should be valued.

This is going to my 25th birthday and as much as I am happy deep down to have come this far. No, I don’t say I have seen a lot of struggled growing up. But, I have learned a lot. I don’t feel excited about it.That is not just surprising for me but also people who know how crazy I can be for birthdays. Hence, I did a little thinking.

Recently I had taken a mental age test. I turned out to be 33 according to that. Surprisingly, my friends agreed to that. It made me wonder if I am really that old mentally? But when I look back to each day, I do things that 4-year-old do and enjoy.

Nonetheless, after a lot of self-introspection I realized it’s not about the funny little things that you do each day that shows how matured one is. It is about understanding little things people around you do and how you react to it.

Lately, my patience level has dropped drastically, and sometimes I feel it is because of the life we are living. Where there is no time for yourself, for maintaining your health and all the time worried about things that probably won’t even matter 1 year from now. Then why? Why can’t I change some things for good for myself? Try to grow and learn, and yet not change myself? Not change the real Charu.

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Sometimes, you may feel so close to someone and one small action can make you look for your space from them. Sometimes, you don’t see any connection and yet suddenly, one line can change your perception about the connections you share with them. Small things which may seem insignificant are generally ignored. Why should you bother about asking something that matters to them? It isn’t important and not going to change the world right? No, it might not really change anything and in fact not even change your life in any way. But think about this for a minute, it can make or break other persons day. Maybe it means something so much and can help that person get over something big.

These things happen more often than we care to realize or do anything about. Maybe you already know how much it matters. But I got my striking moment in past few months. Where small things brought big storms in my life. Some for good. Some for bad. And some, just because it’s universe’s way of saying “alright, let’s change things a bit”.

stay strong

Now, I am only looking forward to one thing. Make things right if you can. If you can’t keep trying. And even then if you can’t, well just know that some things are not meant to be. Things hurt. People hurt. But, it all heals.

Time does heal everything. One of the wisest sayings of all time and finally I can relate to it. After all this time.

Stay strong and keep smiling because there is no better gift than the present! 🙂 (Cliche but true)

Let me know what you think of such days/feelings 🙂 Leave your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Fickleness of the mind…

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