“You have changed…“
Can you remember the last time you were told this? Maybe some time ago or maybe this morning. These 3 words are as powerful as any other especially when it comes from a family member or a friend that was once really close and you haven’t got the time in recent past to spend as much with them. This particular topic has been specifically on top of the list of discussion with my 2 of the closest friends. Each day one of us has the same line told to us by one of our former friends and even though it started out casual, I see it affecting our mood now.
To think of it, why is this used in the first place? I read this one simple line this morning that seems to answer this so easily.
“When people say that you have changed, it simply means that you have stopped living life their way.“
Can you relate to this?
When you first hear this from someone, you start evaluating your changes. Even though the changes are for good, this comes out to be a negative line and affects your positive changes. Maybe you have become a lot more open to socializing. Maybe you have found better ways of adopting into new place. Maybe you have grown up enough to make some decisions without waiting for everyone’s opinion. And is this bad? No. This only means that you are growing as a person.
There is only one constant of life – and that is CHANGE. As common as this line seems to be, the essence is only thought about when you reflect upon it and that happens only when you sit to evaluate your decisions or so-called changes.
So, should one feel guilty and beat yourself up for the change? It comes from someone whom we probably know for years right? It must be true! (Stupid heart I tell you…)
Well, we tend to fail to realize that changes are needed. Each of us are fighting our own battle each day. And once you figure out the mechanism that works for you to overcome things, we start using it. That makes us stronger, more independent and yes, change. Change in our perception. Change in our handling abilities. Change to find happiness within ourselves. Why? Because no one has the time (not always) to always be there when we feel low and all you can do it face it yourself.
If doing all of this and not depending on people whom we once depended on makes us a changed person, then yes. We have changed and we shouldn’t feel guilty about it. If your loved ones fail to encourage your positive growth then instead of getting discouraged, what worked for me was, improve your inner circle.
“The only person that you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday.“
Be with people who only want to build you up, not break you down. Do they know what you have gone through in order for all the changes to have occurred? Probably not. Chances are they barely know you at all. If they stick around to see the beauty of those changes then they are a true friend, if not, then you were better off when they decided you had changed too much for their liking.Sometimes we do let go of things and sometimes people because of their antagonism but it is for good in long run. Eventually the run is yours. And time will set things right. Sooner or later.
So let’s stop being too hard on ourselves for the stronger person we are growing to be. Stop being to harsh on ourselves if we take some time for ourselves and do what we really want to do. And stop feeling guilty for not being for EVERYONE, ALL THE TIME because honestly,
You cannot make everyone happy. You are not everyone’s cup of tea.
P.S. Share your opinion in the comments below and tell everyone how did you face such comments time and again?
Keep smiling! 🙂