“This is a beautiful route…Sun has its calming shine…I can feel the wind…And it’s all real”…
My head was looping with such thoughts on one evening while returning from a nearby hiking trail. It was a nice day. Calm and productive (in a way). I’d just had a couple hours of hike, enjoyed the calm nature, the untouched forest and was on way back home.
This particular moment made me realize how much I had changed. If this was probably a year or two ago, I would be on with my non-stop blabber about how wonderful the forest was and how nice the roads are or how much I love long drives. But instead, I just sat there, lost in my thoughts, almost crossing over 50km without a word. No, I wasn’t grumpy or sad. I was just, in my thoughts.
This kind of day takes me back in my timeline of my mind and compare it to present day me.
My constant question to myself: What is growing up? Have I grown up? When will I too be more matured?
I am sure people in their 20’s have these thoughts or maybe some older too. And this particular post is just my perspective. I would be more than happy to know and see this from other perspectives too. As of now, this is how far my horizon has come.
Few years ago I thought, being growing up is making all your decisions by yourself. Why would I want to take permission from parents once I’m independent. More or less it’s right but with a twist.
Few days ago, after my research for my new phone was complete, I went to the store, money collected over time with me, ready to buy. I stopped for a moment and give a call to my father. I explained him my decision and thoughts, and asked him for his view on it. He too, took a look and gave his opinions. And by the end of that 5 minutes call, he simply told, ‘Go ahead, buy it’. That’s all. And then within few minutes I had my new phone, and I walked out as simply as I walked in.
Now, this was not only NOT totally me but also so unreal for me. I would have or should have been super excited about my new phone which I’ve been waiting for more than 9 months now. Also, I would have probably taken a picture of it and sent it to my parents as a surprise and informed them about my purchase.
The fact that neither of that happened, gave me the level of contentment that I’ve never felt before. I continued with my other work and meeting and finally at the end of the day, when I was done with everything, I opened my phone. Took another hour to configure it and port everything from old one. Set alarm for next day and slept.
Why am I talking about a phone or asking about it to my parents at such a deep level? Because this is just one instance. I noticed that I’ve started doing this for all important things in my life. Being calm about it. Doing my research. Making a pros and cons list (learned from dear papa of course). And then finally investing time or money into anything. Is this growing up?
Another thing that has significantly changed is the art of being able to express myself and not worrying about it. I remember there were times when I was scared of expressing myself even when I clearly had contradicting opinions just because, I wasn’t sure how would the ‘cool’ people or my so called then-friends would take it or think about me.
Now, it isn’t that complicated.
Understanding that fact that people have their own opinions and it’s absolutely fine to have different opinions has led to removal of that filter. Of course sometimes, at work or some formal occasions one needs to be careful with the words being used, but that shouldn’t change the essence of your thoughts. Never lose your opinion just because your too scared to be disliked by people. As far as you are not intentionally trying to hurt or offend someone, it is perfectly alright to express as you like. You will realize, like I did, that it might not bring you all the people but it will definitely leave you with some real people and friends in your life. Is this growing up?
Resisting the temptation to buy something you like, but don’t need. Or seeing some really nice outfit but you think about all other hundreds in your wardrobe. And then ending up donating everything you don’t really need or will ever use. Is this growing up?
I don’t think growing up only means being serious or not jumping about something silly. It is about the way one takes decisions and reacts in certain situations that define how grown up you are. My face still splits into a cheek-to-cheek smile when I see a minion or chocolate cake or my fishes. I still go crazy when it’s someones birthday and would try and do everything to make it memorable.
It’s also when one starts thinking from another perspective, be open to changes. Respects opinions even if they differ and many times (without even saying out loud), take a side road, just to avoid certain complications.When one starts empathizing rather than sympathizing. And even smallest of things matter. And battle between emotional side and rational side becomes easier to deal with.
But all in all, things have changed. And changed for good. I am glad, that I found (and still continue to find) contentment in things, and genuinely enjoying things. That’s growing up for me.
That’s just my perspective, and would love to know yours too! Please leave your opinions in comments below or simply write to me via email 🙂
Keep smiling and stay strong 🙂