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The Talk

Friend. Friends. Friendship. Fun. Forever.
Or is it?
Nothing is forever. That’s established. Change is the only constant. That’s known.
So why does it hurt then?
I’ve shared my experience and feelings with family, living away from them and homesickness. But what’s also hurtful and yet neglected is how we take the family that we make for granted.
Why is that ways that were planned together are followed separately?
A recent news came into light, one of my dear friends has been diagnosed with something that gives shudders. And since that day, an epiphany took place. I thought before it’s too, I should reach out to people who were once a part of my journey and we parted ways quite some time ago. And so I did.
Yes, response was all fuzzy. Some were okay to reignite. Some were plain snow. But all in all, it made me feel better. Just for the fact that I was able to express myself and say things that I haven’t for years. And apologized for things I don’t even remember anymore. Although one of them did point out that it is not worth apologizing for something we both don’t remember. Thank you for that 🙂
Also, when I was through this, and looked around, I missed my self-made family here. Something was missing. Signs were clear. Some of the signs if you can to relate to are as follows:
  • Misunderstandings (constant)
  • No feelings when there is no contact for weeks
  • Walking on egg shells (talking with extreme caution)
  • Simply feeling nostalgic

Sounds familiar?

And many that followed to my next question.

Should I try to fix this? Or should I just move on?

Sometimes, moving on is the easier option. But hanging in there and making it work, needs hard work (this applies to every relation, every kind).

I chose the former option and had ‘The Talk‘.

Nothing happens overnight and no changes will happen overnight either. But what I learned after this talk was, it’s better to talk and try now rather than keeping it within and expressing same emotion years later. By then, train has left the platform and taking the later train isn’t going to make you reach the first one.

Anyways, after trying, since it’s still all fresh, I hope for a transition in time to come.

Meanwhile, there was something else that occupies my mind – fuzzy ball of mess.

I am pretty certain that each one goes through this fuzzy ball of emotions every once in a while. But how to overcome that and solve it is the standing question. Hence, as a part of many other changes that I have undergone, one thing would begin by talking. Expressing. Clearing.

Everyone is so busy in their never-ending non-stop life that it’s so easy to not-make-time. But for what? If one doesn’t make time, one doesn’t make memories and well, I would like to tell a lot of stories as a grandma. Cool ones, if I may add.

And hence, since everyone gets the same amount of time, in 24-hours schedule. It is possible to bring a change in the rat race that we are part of.

As Mahatma Gandhi rightly said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world“.

I probably cannot change the world (Or can I?, I don’t know yet), but something very valuable that I learned last weekend was –

  1. “Make a small change. Leave the place better than before.”
  2. “Spend time people who are different from you. Broadens your perspective.”
  3. “Respect everyone and their opinions.”

And yes, that was powerful teaching.

Thank you Catrin Hinkel (Sr, Managing director, Accenture) for this wonderful speech.

Although this month started with a lot of worries, questions, and all kind of roller coaster feelings, new things that came into light past few days has led way to a new perspective to my thoughts. And hopefully, the last 3 points that I mentioned (rather learned), would help someone somewhere, going through the same.

Lastly, Margaret Atwood inspired me to write today. She once told “If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word.

Stay strong and keep smiling 🙂

P.S. I would love to hear from you and your coping mechanisms 🙂 As they say, broadens the perspective 🙂

P.P.S. Please like and share if you enjoyed reading it 🙂 Pff, I sound like a YouTube video now. Nops, not gonna let that happen. Please like and share if you enjoyed reading it 🙂

 

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6 thoughts on “The Talk

  1. I really liked the thought of being able to tell cool stories to the grand kids someday. This idea makes me think of the very very few times I took a chance and asked someone about some information, which they were more than glad to share and now i have pleasant memory about that time. Maybe in the future I may take more such chances to try to connect with people with whom my paths cross.
    So that I will have good things to share. I will be less hesitant from now on.
    I think good memories are those times when we felt warmth by our parents, friends etc or when we made somebody feel warmth. Maybe by being compassionate and understanding to others, we can make good memories more often.

    Like

      1. Yes,. So that seems like a good coping mechanism. Remembering the good old memories, instead of being sad, we could get motivated to make new ones with the people that are around us at that time of our lives 🙂

        Like

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